It is common to think that the best negotiators are the ones that talk the most or have the most compelling point. However, some of the most powerful negotiators you can find spend more time listening than they do talking. Listening enables people to better identify interests, create solutions, and develop relationships.
Going beyond Words
While negotiating is often about the exchange of information, there is much more to it. Sometimes, the most important information you need to hear is beyond the words. Tone and pauses in the conversation can provide insight to people about their motivations or priorities. Listening effectively means paying attention to all forms of communication and understanding the significance in words and body language.
Knowing Interests vs. Positions
The most common mistakes in negotiation happen when people focus their attention on a set of positions instead of focusing on the underlying interests driving them. Positions can be anything, but they are usually tied to specific deadlines, numbers (like price) and specific terms. By effectively listening to others, a negotiator is better able to understand what people actually want to achieve, and therefore more apt to develop creative solutions that address multiple needs.
Developing Rapport
Listening is how you develop rapport with people. You are more willing to work with people you feel know and like. Listening shows that you are respectful and professional, and that you are willing to collaborate and find solutions. Often, this is the first step to developing trust between people, which becomes an asset to any negotiation.
Asking Better Questions
The quality of your answers is directly tied to the quality of the questions you ask. People who are listening closely are in a position to ask more thoughtful questions. Listening will allow a negotiator to ask open-ended questions that will allow for more detailed answers. These questions can also help build rapport, show genuine interest in the other person, and help the negotiation flow better.
Minimizing Miscommunication
The most common reason a negotiation becomes difficult, or breaks down, is because there was some degree of miscommunication or misunderstanding. Listening closely and asking questions to get clarification allows for the identification and correction of these misunderstandings and prevents problems from escalating. Active listening leads to more clarity and more efficient conversations.
Dealing with Difficult Conversations
A lot of negotiations happen when people are in a disagreement or under pressure. Listening is crucial when dealing with emotionally intense situations. Often people need to feel like they have been heard, and active listening is a great way to help diffuse tension. When you actively listen to people and allow them to express themselves, they are much more apt to cooperate with you.
Developing Long-Term Relationships
Negotiation doesn’t always occur when there is nothing else at stake. More often than not, it’s a business partnership, a relationship with a client, or collaboration with internal staff that requires continued negotiation and work. Listening enables you to develop long-term relationships that are based upon trust and respect. These are critical to maintaining good relationships long into the future.
Active Listening is a Strategic Advantage
Listening is not only an important skill in communication, it is a powerful negotiating strategy. It is the means by which negotiators gather and develop information. The key factor distinguishing the mediocre negotiator from the excellent negotiator is the ability to identify interests and motivations in order to find a solution. The best negotiators are often those that spend more time listening and observing than they do talking. You can’t be an exceptional negotiator unless you are a great listener.